Japan trip was over, my birthdays (Chinese and Western) were already celebrated... I learned more about attachment style theories and felt that I might be in a freezing state trying to get out of the funk...
I think I am doing well right now. I realized I just have to take this one day at the time. Already talked to a psychiatrist with Chinese ancestry hoping she would be able to help me navigate the problem I told her (which I think helped a lot and she told me that maybe I was underestimating myself way too much). Not only that, I realized that maybe it's not that you miss the person, it's just that you miss the times when you want to talk with someone about anything which cause you to have pangs to your chest. Which is why thanks to Heidi Priebe, I started to create my own version of my Google Docs. Instead of Heidi Priebe's version wherein she would write to the Google Docs on what she wanted to say to an specific person, I wrote it for my future husband without knowing who that person is. By doing it that way, I realized that I was starting to get better and looked forward to writing stories to him. Who knows maybe one day if I would end up getting married to him, he would learn all the things I wanted to tell him if only he came earlier (but of course we shouldn't be able to rush things - as the saying goes, in God's perfect time.)
Then there's this Filipino-Chinese singles event I decided to attend to. I don't know what to expect. It's just that I know I would be meeting new people and hoping that he wouldn't be there. I mean it would last until the evening. He does not go out that late anyway so if ever I would be meeting someone from the past, that would be cool, but I wouldn't be bothered by it. Also, the age range is so favorable for me. Imagine ages 30 to 50. That means people in there are most probably older than me then hope that the girls in there are also older than you so you would have a fighting chance. Lol!
So the day comes... I was preparing everything that needs to be done and get ready for the event. All dress in black with matching heels (of course we got to weed out guys who were shorter than me or entertain guys who are still taller than you despite wearing heels). Then also placed the love charm on the black bag that my friend gave me for my birthday gift a few years ago.
I rode Grab not knowing what to expect and hoping for the best on a rainy Sunday afternoon. As the Grab driver dropped me off in the location, I saw a gold Innova car, the same car he was driving but I just knew it was just one of the gold Innova cars I just saw that was about to enter the parking entrance of the venue which is just one of the passing thoughts you had and hoping you find the one for you there. Until I shifted my eyes towards the venue's entrance, I saw the style of clothing of a person that seems familiar and then saw the bag the person was sporting was very familiar too... That's the time my heart was racing as fast as a Shinkansen Bullet Train and my whole body trembled...
(To be continued) …
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