HE WAS THERE! He was there at the same event as I was attending to. He didn't know that I was there because I only saw his back. I knew it was him! The shirt he wore was similar to the shirt he wore on our first date. The bag was still the same bag he was sporting throughout all our dates. As I saw him from afar, he asked the security guard something and went somewhere inside the venue. My knees were trembling so much and my heart was racing so fast as I don't know what to do because I didn't expect him to be there especially the event would last until the evening. Like I said, he said he doesn't want to leave at night. What was happening!? I didn't have the courage to go immediately inside the venue. I had to recompose myself. That time, I knew I needed to call someone, so I decided to call my mother. As I call her, all I said in Tagalog was, "Ma! Nakakita ako ng multo!" My mom said my reaction was so real as if I saw a real ghost - because that's how you would probably react if you would see a real ghost right? Well, I do not have an actual experience of seeing a ghost so this is probably the nearest most irrational thing right? Lol! So when I told her who I saw, my mother calmed my nerves and begged that I should not hinder myself from attending just because I thought I was already okay - but I wasn't. I spent 1,100 peso for that event, you can't just put that on waste too. Also, it is your chance to clarify things should the opportunity strike that you would be able to see him face to face once again right? So I went to the bathroom praying to God that that everything will be alright because I never saw this coming. It came out of the left field. I am also glad that one of my colleagues was able to answer my call and calmed me down as I go up the elevator to go to the venue itself.
I don't know why was this happening to me. I am already okay with the idea of being ghosted by this guy without explaining the reason why. I thought I was ready to move forward to meet someone only to realize when I saw his back that maybe I wasn't. Imagine when I rode the Journey to the Center of the Earth at Tokyo Disney Sea almost six weeks ago (I know it wasn't as scary as Tower of Terror as my colleagues that were with me are not up to the task of riding those), I didn't feel anything even the scariest part of the ride - I didn't even scream. But my encounter, that doesn't involve any spinning, anticipation on falling down from the very top that most people were scared to feel whenever they rides those - I felt the horror in every core of my body. It's like if you would rather see a person that ghosted you or ride the scariest ride of all time - I think I might choose the later one. That's how scary it was for me.
Oh well... it is what it is. The only thing you could have done is to brace yourself and hope that you were still composed with yourself whenever you would be tasked on having a face to face with him - if ever that happens...
(To be continued)…
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