When my mom kept on asking me what was the Chinese Zodiac sign of this guy and that guy I dated, I was like thinking, why don't I make a tabulation because I felt like I haven't dated a lot of guys for me to lost count and still tabulate it? As I made a tabulation, I end up not dating two Zodiac signs with one I haven't recorded as we haven't met that time (but we eventually did and it didn't work out).
So fast forward, I realized why do I need to sulk in my singleness while my in a relationship or married friends are enjoying the time of their lives with their special someone? Besides I could experience what they are experiencing anytime I want, but they cannot experience the ones I'm doing anymore because for them that's tantamount to cheating.
Then comes the lightbulb moment. I realized I would be technically alone in Canada with no parents or friends in tow all the time in the day, so I was like why not date a Canadian resident or citizen there? So I told myself, if I was able to date one, I would complete the missing Zodiac by finding a way on how to get them to date me - and I also did that there. So now, all I need was to find any guy with that specific Zodiac sign to date me and I would really take a rest from dating or opening the dating app and be like carefree.
Honestly, finding the missing Chinese Zodiac was harder than I thought. I guess they said when you are looking for a specific thing, it looks like finding needle in a haystack that you don't know where to find. Or you thought it was a surplus only to find out once you want or need it, it becomes hard to find. I tried online dating apps and matched the guys who are interested in me based on the age I was looking for, asked some friends if they know someone and even the organizers of our community. However, they have various reasons such as they have repercussions on how would the community react upon it such as you'll be a source of talks in their mini group chats, then there is the stigma involving money since doing that would make you look desperate and also they would think anything that involves money is a scam too - especially that easy. Maybe similar to what some random senders are asking us that if you like three posts from an online shopping website, you'll get 160 pesos as a head start. Then there's people who might say they cannot find anything but maybe they don't feel like looking or maybe they think I am joking with what I said.
I guess there is where being a researcher at work comes in very handy. Based on what the feedback of the people I confided with told me, I knew I just have to get something done in an anonymous way, but still open for contact and somehow get ready to get blasted by the audience in a way. So I realized, what if I post on Reddit?
Posting on Reddit was no easy feat too. I don't know where to actually post it. Do I post it on ads, do I post it for single, or even for one night stands? It's like I don't even know where to categorize and the last thing you want to happen was to violate some community rules that I was never aware of. I knew I had some annoying instances at Monopoly Go where they were so strict with it and banned me for 24 hours or what for failure to comply with group chat rules. So what I did was to message the moderator of a sub-reddit group explaining what I wanted to achieve and inquiring about the mechanics. Thankfully the moderator was accommodating and just emphasized the requirements I need to fulfill so that they could approve the post I wanted to create.
Now on to creating one. My mind knew what to post - I just got to make sure that nothing slips out because if I am going to "invest" on this thing, I better not screw this up because it would be very painful as it would cost a lot of money even if it's probably worth my day's salary - but still.
So onto posting (and the moderator approved of it). I am not sure what to expect. All I hope was there's one guy who is qualified because I wanted to get it done so I can take a rest from dating and do whatever I wanted that has nothing to do with romance.
I got a few messages but at least there is traction, interest or curiosity involved. However, there are technically two guys qualified, one who was really looking forward for the free food and the other don't want the incentive part, but wanted the authentic connection. Since the first one who was interested in food messaged first, I confirmed that he was indeed born on the year I was looking for. After further inquiry, I already set a date to meet him.
I did meet him albeit he was almost an hour late, but it doesn't matter to me even if it would normally piss me off - after all I need him to complete my Chinese Zodiac so who am I to complain?
So after I met him and gave my dues, here's what I realized during the process of finding the missing Chinese Zodiac sign until I met the said guy:
People wanted connection:
At first I thought that people are after money, that's why I placed some sweetener in the hope that somebody would bite.
Well technically only one bit on the exact offer, but what was quite disheartening was the fact that the people who sent me a message were saying they wanted to meet me even in the absence of money.
I am saying this because it seems like people are having a hard time to find a constant someone to chat with. Someone even begged if I could reconsider seeing him even if they are not included in my age range. My heart just sank because deep within me, I know that I would just be fooling them because most likely whoever I'll be meeting will be a Filipino of blood and I knew that I wasn't looking for long-term so it's quite unfair to them. Additionally, paying for the service even if they have to treat it like an actual date was less troublesome because I would be paying for their meal and the incentive for meeting me.
Anything that's too good to be true looked like scam
I just realized that putting too much premium might look like a scam. Like what the missing zodiac guy said, as much as there is money involved, he was actually quite scared of the tradeoff that he would need to give up. He even joked if I would "kill" him.
I did assured him and also on the community I posted that it wasn't a scam... And I really made sure I have brought the said cash along as to know that I am not going to deceive anybody.
Scrutiny will only happen if you are at the wrong market
I know my fellow Filipino-Chinese would probably make a side-eye or your post will be subject of teas to a bunch of group chats as it seems like the group chats would only be alive if you guys are talking about something.
Perhaps one reason why some Fil-Chi organizers are scared of my idea.
However, posting on Reddit where there are a lot of Filipinos, wanted to do a lot of side hustles, and probably the adventurous types, there might be skepticism, but at least I was able to get some positive feedback where they wished me luck and while for others they are curious and how they wished they are qualified to the age range I was looking for.
Conclusion
In the end, I think there is nothing regrettable about what I did and I think I might do it again if something piqued my curiosity. I think it showed how sad our world is where people are craving for authentic connection but I guess we might be a bunch of superficial beings. That's why I wanted it to be a paid one because recovering from emotional connection then the need to force cut it off would be a very painful one.
However now I already ticked something off my bucket list that I've been searching for the past two months, I can't wait for the month to end and I would take a break from dating/getting to know people. After all, it's fun if you could try to achieve something else that has nothing to do with dating - you can be more productive instead of setting aside time to meet them only to realize a few dates in that things won't materialize and you're back to square one.
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