As I reached my high school junior year, there are rumblings of this particular activity that they want to commence and it was none other than the Junior and Senior prom (JS Prom). That time everybody chose to have a field trip instead of having a prom on my Junior year, but neither one of them materialized by the end of the school year.
Then came my senior year, at that time my fellow students opt to have a field trip rather than prom. After all, the previous year we didn't have a field trip - let alone in my case where I wasn't able to attend last time because that was the day I learned that my sister passed away which happened to be my 14th birthday too.
For every teenage student, I guess prom was really the supposed highlight of their high school year. Well I guess we can probably blame movies and serieses that emphasize the need of having a prom where every ugly duckling will magically become a princess for or every beast would become a prince charming for one night.
Personally, I really dreaded the idea of having a prom back in high school. Not only I was ridiculed and a laughingstock for having the worst taste in attire among my batchmates, but also I didn't like the idea of wearing clothes or dresses that seemed to be too uncomfortable for me and that includes the high heels. Then you add the dancing part where I was also known as not being a good dancer too. So I really think having a prom during those times will be a receipe for disaster or as some might say "scarred for life".
Fast forward to this year, the community I'm involved in organized a prom event specifically for single Fil-Chi individuals.
A part of me felt like aside from I want to take a break from dating after what I've been through to I don't even have a dress for that event to even if you want to go, buying a dress is so costly on top of the cost for going to the event.
Of course, since I'm buddies with the organizers, they would send me private messages encouraging me to go to the prom. Their pitch was some people never had one, which was true since I also didn't have one. The organizer knew from the get-go what was troubling me from attending the event. So she said I could wear short dress or jumpsuit if I'm not comfortable with wearing a gown let alone a long dress.
During that time, I would admit I was technically cash strapped since I splurged a bit for my birthday celebration for the office plus my uncertainty. Then I am having an emotional or identity struggle in relation to my then suitor. Although it would be cheaper to pay at an earlier date, I just let the early bird rate pass. I mean after all it's better to pay a premium on something you are sure of rather than pay early just so you could save.
After I ended things with my then suitor, I was hoping that my head is clear. I know if I'm going to the prom, I'm just going there to support but not to find a potential spouse. I mean my mom did said that she will finally give me a break on asking me about my love life (but that was only brief after she knew that the threat is no longer imminent I guess).
So I searched online what dress I would like to wear for the event and the first one I ordered, it wasn't the type of dress I've envisioned for a prom as the length wasn't long enough. My mom just said just buy another one besides you can wear it again - and so I did. I did like my second dress since it reached to the floor that I have to actually hold my dress so I could walk properly. 😅
Then I was thinking if I would go all in, I have to do a glam up look, so I went to the hair and makeup stylist I went to when my friend got married pre pandemic. I'm so happy that she was still there after 5 years. I think the rate didn't change too. What was good about this was the stylist's color forte of doing makeup is in the shade of green which was the dress that I was wearing from the original peacock blue.
So the time arrives, and I have to go to the venue already. All dressed up, with the jade bracelet I bought from China and the earrings my mother lend me to wearing a girdle that shocked me that I was able to hook to the tightest part of the body without me feeling comfortable. Well, I really did cut my rice in preparation for this and also discipline on not eating too much pasta nor cooking instant noodles.
To the shocked of some (I guess), I was almost unrecognizable (I had to remove my glasses too). I may have the perfect body when I was in high school, but what I didn't have that time was enough confidence to thrive off negative energy. I guess what's helpful was I went into a world where I could count with my one hand how many schoolmates I met during these events. I mean technically I only met 3 to 4 people and that was it. Nobody knew my past or how I dress, so whatever they saw, that was it.
Honestly, I went into the event thinking and hoping that if the winner gets crowned, he/she deserves it. I knew last year's event was partly a joke and I think organizers even felt it too. That's why I somehow beg to the organizers to at least put a best dressed out there along with Mr. and Ms. Smingle such as who followed the attire so those who made an effort to comply will be rewarded. I knew gunning for the top title was impossible since that's based on popularity vote, so I was honestly hoping if I don't get the [invisible] crown, maybe I could get the best dressed.
Until when they start calling the winners made me realized that they changed the criteria for voting. The population no longer controls the vote, but a committee - and with that, they gave me the title of the Prom Queen.
It was such an unbelievable experience. Maybe some people would be thinking there are better ones, but then some of them would also think of course they would reduce it to the ones who followed the dress code which most of them settled for short dresses. But then I realized, I did my best to be in contention. I did make some sacrifices to lose weight too, which allowed me to fit into my dress despite our helper did some alterations to make the waist of my dress narrower.
For one night, I felt vindicated. I saw the support people around me when they also took my photos and sent it to me. I mean if they wouldn't care, they would just be a bit civil I guess. It's like adult me telling my high school and college version of me as "It's okay, we finally made it. We finally did something that would be unbelievable from the people in the past."
I don't care if some people might scoff that they would fare better, maybe they might but for this night, they chose not to take it seriously, but I did. Like what the organizer said, it was a serious deliberation so whatever the results they discussed, I really deserve to be called a Prom Queen.
